A Parent’s Story
"We lost our 3rd child Arlo, at 12 weeks old, in 2020. He was a perfect, healthy and thriving little boy, until he passed unexpectedly in his sleep. We were rushed to the hospital to try and save him, but it was too late. The hospital offered a social worker who ran me through the coronial process. There was no other Information or support. We left the hospital alone, at 11pm on a cold winter night, escorted home by police.
Arlo was listed as SUDI, cause unknown. Empty hands and a heart full of questions that would never have an answer… the shock remained for weeks and the loss is still as heavy 5 years on. I’ve just grown around it.
We had not experienced pregnancy and infant loss prior to losing Arlo and I had no idea where to start seeking support. Mothers in my pregnancy group reached out and sent me advice, well wishes, flowers and, amongst the gifts, a Xavier Bears Of Hope package arrived.
I found great comfort in the package as a whole. I used my journal to write letters to Arlo, while I burnt my candle. I shared my emptiness into my writing. Xavier bear would sit in my room and my head would find his soft fur. I later started a blog where writing helped me through my grief in immeasurable ways and continues to when it all gets too heavy. He now sits alongside Arlo’s urn.
Our Bear of Hope is a constant reminder that I am not alone; that this is a shared bond between bereaved parents. Albeit, one we would never have wished for.
Since learning about Bears Of Hope, we have been fundraising in honour of Arlo. Adam joined the Beards Of Hope winter fundraising campaign. He loved that there was a community for him. Dad’s are so often looked at as Mum’s support person. But Dad’s grieve too! It was great to see him find a community of support.
In 2025, a friend lost her niece. It was our first Xavier bear with Arlo’s name & a mix of items packaged for both Mum and Dad. I hope their package helps them find their way through child loss.
It’s not just having something to physically hold. It’s the sense that you are not alone.
It’s knowing there are others who are going or have gone through this. It’s having awareness of who you can reach out to when it all gets too hard. Finding a place to bounce all of the feelings and memories around that feels like home. No awkward silences. Just comfort in a safe space."
Arlo's Dad and Mum, Adam and Melissa.
A $35 donation towards a Bear of Hope this December, can help a family just like ours.
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